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Sunday, May 13th - Today’s journal was colored for your viewing pleasure today at Handsome Cafe in downtown Los Angeles, during my Happiness Project pow wow with two friends. This image is a mish-mash of today’s hopes, celebrations and concerns of three 20-something females, each aspiring to be full-time artists…grow up…live with balance…and not bug out too hard along the way…
"Why would I know what to do? I’ve never even been alive before!"

Sunday, May 13th - Today’s journal was colored for your viewing pleasure today at Handsome Cafe in downtown Los Angeles, during my Happiness Project pow wow with two friends. This image is a mish-mash of today’s hopes, celebrations and concerns of three 20-something females, each aspiring to be full-time artists…grow up…live with balance…and not bug out too hard along the way…

"Why would I know what to do? I’ve never even been alive before!"

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TO DO:
STEP 1: Breathe and gently increase: awareness, listening, nonjudgement, feeling
STEP 2: Breathe and gently decrease: projection, reactivity, self-consciousness
STEP 3: Breathe
STEP 4: Repeat
TRY IT AND GREATER CONNECTION TO YOUR INTUITION WILL BE YOURS! FOR FREE!
(I’ve always wanted to say something like that…)
….now do a happy dance because you are quite awesome!

TO DO:

STEP 1: Breathe and gently increase: awareness, listening, nonjudgement, feeling

STEP 2: Breathe and gently decrease: projection, reactivity, self-consciousness

STEP 3: Breathe

STEP 4: Repeat

TRY IT AND GREATER CONNECTION TO YOUR INTUITION WILL BE YOURS! FOR FREE!

(I’ve always wanted to say something like that…)

….now do a happy dance because you are quite awesome!

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"Knowing and healing aren’t the same. We can talk about the facts of trauma, recount the chronology, and still continue to be cut off from the experience, unable to go back to the dark place and feel. Healing takes feeling. Healing also takes courage, because it’s painful. -Jane Fonda"

— WRITINGS TO STOP VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AND GIRLS: A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant, and A Prayer

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The Story of ObjectDefy

I was hanging out by Columbus Circle on a clear spring day, when I saw Al Pacino walk out of a van. I’m an actor, so I started flirting with his driver based on the 1.8% chance that Al would call me, and then I’ll be connected to famous people, launch my acting career….etc.

My next thought was: if I could get a meeting with Al Pacino, in his apartment, would I blow him? Would I be expected to blow him? Would he even want me to? Would it even be helpful? And then I decided to write a comedic play called “Not Blowing Al Pacino” that would be a kaleidoscopic exploration of sexualization. 

There are problems with that project:

1. The title “NOT BLOWING AL PACINO”, while an attention-grabber, has legal risks and implies a frivolous sex romp. And that’s not what this is.

2. THIS ISN’T ONLY ABOUT ME! If I’m having self discoveries about my relationship to my own sexual objectification, other women probably have totally UNDISCOVERED relationships to that part of themselves! And if women are going through this, then men are being affected too.

I created this blog, ObjectDefy, because I want to know what you think and feel about your 1. sexuality 2. the ways you have been sexualized 3. ways you’ve sexualized other people.

In the coming months I will be posting text and video blogs that will tell my own story. Then I will ask you to comment and send in your own video blogs answering questions, or telling your own stories.

And the impetus for Not Blowing Al Pacino still lives on inside me: Why am I so used to being seen as a sexual object that I actually expected it?

How many times in my life have I been rewarded for my appearance alone? How did that shape a skewed perception of the world? Of my self worth?

Apply those questions to yourself and comment below.

Hugs and love,

Mel


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ObjectDefy is Here

Yeah yeah yeah! After six weeks of recording video blogs (on photo booth), debating blog titles, and figuring out tumblr, the day has finally arrived.

Now presenting, ObjectDefy: Stories of a Sexualized Culture.

Soon I’ll post video blogs sharing my own sexualization stories- the very stories that pushed me to create this blog, to go on a journey to clarify my own beliefs and to start a dialogue with you.

It must be fate that the launch date is during Halloween hangover, just after many women broke out of their more conservative clothes and slipped into their naughty nurse/poison ivy/little bo peep/sexy cop outfits.

What is it about dressing up that allows women to feel more sexually free?

What if we had the freedom to be sexually empowered every day?

Would you want to?

Let me know your thoughts. Comment below, and drink plenty of water.

melanie zoey